Sunday, September 10, 2006

Apologies from the Music Critic

Dear sweet prefabricated Gnome,

This is my humble attempt to beg your forgiveness, to back-pedal, to eat my words.
The very last time that I had communications with you I believe that I may have been misunderstood. My skill at speaking Gnome is faint and my talent for a written, literate exchange is chewy at best. So if I may disinfect, so to speak, any of the polluted meanings in my last letter please accept this as my second chance.

When I said your singing voice is in the class of "belching up acid, bitter black coffee, verging on vomit tonality" what I meant was you sing like an angel of the Indy scene.

Also, addressing the second bone of contention, your home recorded CD 'Wainscoting the Senate Regimen”, when I said that it was "the mucus evidence of the mass populace acceptance squirting from B.Corgan's expanding ego nozzle", I meant that in the best possible way.

And lastly, I was unaware of how prominent the dollar amount that is being spent by the likes of your "ethnic background" in today's "alternative" music industry. Please, if you could call off the minions from sending hate mail to the zine, I may possibly get my job back. Really can you blame me? Who knew Gnomes really exist?

Thomas B.
(A former reviewer with
High & Mighty Music Review)


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